Mo Williams Is Teh Funny
Written by I 3 Freely   
Tuesday, 26 May 2009 14:56

MO

 

What’s not to love about Mo Williams? Here’s a guy who goes from average player to slightly better than average player for the sole reason that he now plays with the best player in the league. Here’s a guy who thinks that makes him an all-star player. Here’s a guy that thinks he is good enough to wine about being snubbed for the All-Star team. Here’s a guy who fancies himself as Scottie Pippen but he’s really more like Randy Brown.

 

I can get past the whole guaranteeing a win thing because that was a classic set up by ESPN’s Chris Broussard. But the part that bothers me is his assumption that Anthony Johnson’s elbow was a cheap shot and that Johnson is a dirty player. First off, after multiple viewings, it seems pretty clear that the position of Johnson’s arm was unfortunate, but not malicious. If anything, Johnson was positioning himself to get the foul call. And even if Johnson did it on purpose, how can Williams be this upset about it considering what he did in Game 2 by throwing the ball at Dwight Howard? At least Johnson did what he did during actual game play. Williams threw the ball at Howard during a stoppage in play.

 

In reading the Cavs forums, Cavs fans seem pretty upset that the flagrant foul assessed to Johnson was rescinded. Part of me wants to assume that some latent-homerism is going to be natural. After all, I’m often guilty of it myself. But I'd like to know what the typical Cavs fan thinks of Mo Williams throwing the ball at Dwight. Can they not look at their own player objectively?

 

If Magic fans can justifiably be upset at Rafer for his love tap to House's head, during the Eastern Conference Semis, they should be able to realize that Mo Williams isn't the only player in this series that can be accused of playing dirty.

 
Round Table... Return to action
Written by The Big Train   
Tuesday, 26 May 2009 08:51

fans

Wow, what an eventful weekend. Per usual, The Puns crew took the weekend off - including the holiday yesterday - to enjoy the poor Central Florida weather and watch some basketball. Since we were last around, the Magic lost a heart breaker on Friday night and gutted out a home W on Sunday night. So, to get back in the swing of things, here is a round table, but it's not all about basketball... It's about that plus whatever else has gone on the last 3 days.

Paul Ego:

The Good - The Master of Panic and DPOY leading his team to a solid start in this series against the COY and MVP. Perhaps people should look at more than just records when voting?I think I saw a hint of blue sky yesterday, and I know I see some today! SVG's post game media sessions. They are a thing of beauty. I love this guy. CLee with another open court dunk with a LeBron (non)foul. Also, watching him size up LeBron for a block going the other way, except James drew a foul before it could happen. If anyone has video of this play (foul on Lewis) and can share with me, I would appreciate it. Whether or not Lee would have blocked the shot, I love the fact that he looked over, sized up LeBron and went for it. I love this kid.

The Bad - Joey Crawford. Seriously, how does this guy still have a job? The dog taking a dump at the base of the stairs, not because he needed to, but because he is upset he can't get some outside time in all this rain.

The Ugly - The NBA's reputation after watching the way LeBron gets seemingly EVERY call going his way. Mo Williams. Seriously guy, the only reason you made the All-Star game was because of Jameer's injury, and you didn't even deserve it then. Stop running your mouth, clown, or I will send "Mr. Twelve minutes" after you again. LeBron waltzing through the Magic Dancers routine. Classless.

The Big Train:

The Good - The City of Orlando. The Magic are certainly the talk of the town. Massive posters aside downtown's buildings and atop interstate overpasses. It's great to see this much support for our team, however, it begs the question: Where was all this support a month ago?

The Bad - I don't understand Stan's defense at the end of Game 2. Why isn't Rashard pressing Mo when he is inbounding the ball? Why stay 7 feet off of him? Hell, if you are going to be that far off the ball, why don't you make yourself useful and just double LeBron?

The Ugly - The crappy Memorial Day weekend weather. We needed rain, but seriously. I get it. I'll also add Bright House to the ugly list, considering for some reason the DVR did not record Game 1 last week. Again, you suck.

Maxwell Effort:

The Good: Stan Van Gundy's press conferences. He is so honest and quick it hurts. The way he handles the press and takes digs at the other team at the same time is just fantastic.

The Bad: Watching ESPN's intro last night they said they were going to have Game 3 highlights of the Magic and Cavs and they show Lebron's shot from Game 2. Nice try ESPN!

The Ugly: Forgetting that once a drop of water hits I4 you should add at least 90 minutes to your driving time when coming in from Tampa.

El Fantasma:

The Good - 2-1, and it could have easily been 3-0 if not by a miracle shot, or lack of defense, or whatever. Overcoming the ref's, flopping, the League, Nike, ESPN and all the other millions of basketball fans that want to see Kobe vs. Lebron. Stan is proving once again that he is a big league coach and he belongs. Fighting and being already really close to be named the best coach this team has ever had.Growing - Dwight Howard's maturity/blooming right in front of us like Magic. We are all being witnesses of his rise as the best center in this league.

The Bad - Hedo and babies. Sure he is trying to contribute in other ways, and he has made a few big shots along the way. But he is struggling with his shot. Overall it has not been a great series for him. Taking out my "race/fun" car this weekend and being followed around by multiple police departments, from the Seminole, Lake and Orange Sheriff departments, to the State Troopers, to Eustis, Lady Lake, Fruitland Park, Leesburg, Mount Dora PD's. Listen people, just because I have a nice, fun, fast, loud car doesn't mean I have to be speed racer out there. Leave me alone!!

The Ugly - Mo Williams, Lebron James, Anderson Mcfloppyjao, the media, the Cavs, the Cavs' message boards and overall the whole city of Cleveland, heck the whole state of Ohio, why not? When Orlando wins the headlines read, Cleveland barely loses to Magic. When Lebron makes a lucky shot...Cavaliers crush magic dreams(by winning by a point?)..its horrible

The Nickel Steak:

The Good - Courtney Lee's defense on Delonte/Mo. Air France. Dwight Howard on the block and at the line.Marcin Gortat stuffing Lebron twice in game 3, with the first coming immediately after Doug Collins said the Magic have no shot blocking threat without Dwight on the floor.

The Bad - Rafer and Hedo throwing picture perfect passes to the guy wearing the ugly Hawaiian shirt in the 2nd row.

The Ugly - Anything written at cbssportsline. Those people are just terrible writers, and not even in a Stephanie Meyer "Haha, this is hilariously bad" sort of way. Mo Williams. Jesus Christ, man. Are you the most condescending ******bag in the world, or are you just letting the media play you easier than a meth addict getting played by the cops on a cop show. Shut up and play, and if you continue to suck, you should probably stop talking.

Supply and Demand:

The Good - Watching Dwight drain clutch free throws in the fourth quarter until being sent to bench for daring to get a clean block on Lebron. Sleeping in Monday morning thanks to a holiday after Sunday nights game.

The Bad - Thunder sticks, my son spends most of the game hitting me and half the people sitting around us on this back swings. I need to remember to bring him a paddle that I saved from prior games. Watching the once proud defensive player of the year Ben Wallace doing the Verajao flop.

The Ugly - My waistline, this deep playoff run is killing my summer diet plans. Mighty mouth Mo Williams seeking out every microphone he can find to write checks his body keeps sending back as “Insufficient”!

Vile Feminista:

The Ugly - Mo Williams, this cat is crazy. He makes the most ridiculous statements with zero ability to back any of it up. LeBron is the team Mo, not you. Suck it up, you are a mediocre point guard at best, that is your lot in life, deal with it and shut up. LeBron walking through the Dancer's as they are dancing. Distasteful and disrespectful, I honestly thought you were better than that.

The Bad - The, albeit few, Cavs fans in attendance. I know you support "your team" but, really? Cheering because you barely cut the lead. Don't mock other fans when it is far too early to run your mouth, your team has shown nothing, you really have nothing to be proud of. The refs, of course, we all know how blatant it has been, absolutely no reason to recap. The mini hurricane that tried to ruin our tailgating, guess the joke is on you, weather.

The Good - Courtney Freakin' Lee. This kid has been what we need. He continuously improves. So LeBron "blocked" his shot, what does he do? He makes sure next chance to dunk the hell out of the ball, quickly. Fool him once, it may be your only opportunity. The amazing team play, they have been as cohesive as they have been. They understand each other, egos are put on the back burner and they want to WIN. One of the highlights of an evening glutted with them, wishing a good night, safe drive and see you Tuesday to the despondent procession of Cavs fans that began with about 1:30 in the game.

Jareth Cutestory:

The Good - Lew, Dwight, Lee, Peaches, Turk-a-spurts, Sporadic Skip moments, SVG and the thing under his stache making noise, Gortat.

The Bad - The Refs, Losing a heartbreaking Game 2.

The Ugly - Mo Williams

Frank Frank:

The Good - The Amway Arena music crew for playing whatever magical song featuring Soldier Boy that got stuck in Dwight's head and helped him hit 14 of 19 from the line.The Magic's will to win in a grind it out style game in game 3.The resilience and mental focus of the Magic to win the next game after such a crushing loss in game 2.Stan the Man for wearing that old school magic logo/funny looking black hat in his interview with the media when he made that comment about the NBA being a real sport. This man's got some cojones! Rafer Alston's shooting in game 3. Many times this postseason I've found myself screaming "WHY?!?!!!11one" when Rafer shoots a 3, because he's not anything close to a shooter. But he gave us a huge offensive lift in game 3 offsetting Hedo's poor shooting display.Our dubbed "X-Factor" McHale Pietrus. (Ok, I know that's not how you spell his first name, but that's gotta be how you're supposed to say it, right?) We've questioned his play on both sides of the court in the last 40 games of the season. In this series, he's really shown up to play both offensively and defensively and his swag is nothing short of awesome.

The Bad - Hedo's shooting in game 3. Can't classify that game as ugly for him because he was still able to facilitate the offense in many other ways, as he usually does, specifically pushing the tempo and finding the open man time and time again.

The Ugly - The refs, especially Joey Crawford. Nothing more need be said. Mo Williams on so many levels. He was ugly before game 3, and he's even uglier now with his "Larry Holmes-like" swollen eye.

 
So you really want to fire Stan? I mean really?
Written by El Fantasma de Carlos   
Friday, 22 May 2009 13:02

stan


I was reading the local newspaper yesterday, the Orlando Sentinel, and I came across a small article by Shannon Owens, titled "Stan-ding trial on TNT". So I was like this might be worth reading, I know I know, why even bother with the Sentinel, but I am a sucker for pain, so I started reading.

Keep in mind this was the Polk County early edition, not the Orlando Edition, in which the article was changed. But she pretty much mentioned that Stan Van Gundy's job was in jeopardy if the team went on to lose the East Finals. (She later changed the article for the Orlando Edition to a praising Stan and calling him a great coach type of article, typical for the Sentinel, say something today and change it tomorrow) Anyhow, I read the Early edition and it got my blood boiling. Not just because the Sentinel was writing about this nonsense, but because ESPN, TNT (I think it was Kenny Smith), and many other national writers started this stupid rumor. Yes I am mad. I guess they got tired of talking about how great the King is or maybe about how awesome Kobe is. Well of course not, they still have to fill their Lebron vs Kobe dream matchup quota. But its seems like the other two teams in these finals, Orlando and Denver, can only be talked about negatively. The talk is always centered on how the chosen ones can beat Orlando or Denver.

But back to my point. Lets talk about Stan Van Gundy. Are we so dumb to forget what he did in Miami? If you are then that's OK. Let's talk about what he has done in Orlando:

Before he arrived we had Brian Hill, Round 2. That was a disaster. The guy wouldn't change his style. He misused Dwight Howard, Darko, Grant Hill, and everyone wearing a uniform while stumbling to a 40-42 record and barely making the playoffs.

Can you imagine what would have happened with Billy Donovan? Me either so let's forget this ever happened. Well, sort of. Because with Billy coaching the team we would have been worse than with Brian Hill.

Then came Stan The Man. In 2007-2008, Stan took over the team. and started shorthanded without Tony Battie in the lineup. Think about this for a second. We had Adonal Foyle, and Marcin Gortat (and that's the 2007 rookie Warlock not the beast we see today) to back up the 4 and the 5 all year. We had a cluster of shooting guards and 3 guys trying to play the point. Again it was the Jameer Nelson of 2007, with Carlos Arroyo and Kenyon Dooling. Stan was able to use what he had to in order take Orlando to a division title, and a second round appearance in the playoffs.(and I know we lost against the Detroit, but again, those were not the 2009 Pistons, these where the Second best team in the East). But still while getting there, he was able to get everything he had out of Hedo Turkoglu who became the NBA's most improved player. He made an All-Star out of Jameer by the end of the season, and maximized the talents of both Rashard Lewis and Dwight Howard.

So what did he do the next year?

The team got better. Even when adversity hit us. Think about this season. We sign our "prize" free agent to be the starting 2. Mickael Pietrus started the season red hot. His defense was good, his 3 was beautiful. We lost the guy because of injury for about 30 games or about a third of the season. Did we lose anything? Not much. Stan was able to recover somehow. He entrusted a late first round rookie with the job and made the guy exceed all of our expectations. Courtney Lee has been amazing and you know Stan had something to do with this (kinda like what he did with Dwayne Wade in Miami). We started the season hot. Jameer elevated his game even further and was named an All-Star. Rashard was there too. Dwight received more votes than anyone else. But we lost Jameer to a freak injury right before the break.

How would this team continue and recover from losing your All-Star PG. What would Boston do without Rondo? How would Cleveland do without Mo? But the team prevailed. You have to give Otis Smith some love for getting Rafer Alston here, but Stan made it all work.

Shaq came into the picture talking smack about Stan. People, even some Magic fans surprisingly, started agreeing with Shaq and the whole Master of Panic thing. The forums where full of people calling for Stan's head after each loss, then praising him as the best coach ever after a win. Come on people. Really? I mean a 59 win season, a historic win in Boston, East Finals appearance, and you still want him out. Really? You think that if the team doesn't win the title he should be hanged. I mean really really? By this logic every single coach in the league should be fired each year, except for the one that didn't win the title.

We can get even better next year. Even if we don't win it all this year, think about that. Think about how lucky we are to have Stan Van Gundy in Orlando. Before you even start playing with the idea of firing him, think about what you are asking. Stan is the best coach to ever walk in the Orena. He will be the one to take us to the promise land. We are closer to it than ever, since the Shaq years. This team is good, actually really good, and one of the main reason's is our coach.

 
SVG... Doin' Work!
Written by The Big Train   
Thursday, 21 May 2009 12:32

Stan Van Gundy has been getting torched by the national media lately. It mostly comes from the fact that they are just now paying attention to this team, and have not been around all year to understand that this is just the way things go. Stan tells it like it is, and him and his players certainly do get mad at each other from time to time. And if you looked past the talking heads on Around the Horn, you would see that SVG is one hell of a basketball coach. Perfect example, last night:

 
Game 1 Round Table... Wow edition
Written by The Big Train   
Thursday, 21 May 2009 09:24
wow

We're still not quite sure how the Magic won last night, given the outstanding performance by LeBron James and the 16 point hole Orlando had to climb out of, but we'll take it. Here are our thoughts:

The Big Train:

Wow. First, before I add anything else, I can't help but mention the somber nature of ESPN and TNT in the moments following the game. LeBron is cramping up a bit and has a little cut on his knee, which is expected after his amazing performance, and the networks act like it's the Arizona Cardinals' Rod Tidwell after making that stellar catch in the endzone. Can there be any doubt on who the NBA and ESPN/ABC/Disney wants to win this series? That aside, props to Hedo's 14 assists, Rashard's great 2nd half, Courtney's dunk on LeBron, and Dwight's great performance. Also, Dwight's 6th foul was not a foul. To close, do you know what the best part of the night was? The collective silence of 20,000 fans when Orlando is putting up big shots. They have done it all year, and last night was the most memorable.

Jareth Cutestory:

Hey, not everyone has to like the Magic. But ****it, it's time to respect them. This team has grown up by leaps and bounds after the first 2 rounds of the playoffs, and is becoming the team that they usually play against. You know what I mean. Magic up by 20. It seems like a win. But no, a team like the Rockets, etc. come back and steal it in the 4th. Not this time. The Magic have shown they can handle the pressure, and what more of a perfect time then now. Maxwell Effort:It was pasted all over Turk's smiling face as time was ticking down. The moment is no longer too big for this team. They experienced a flurry of punches in the opening half but now as the game was ending seemed to be in control of it all despite Cleveland countering everything they did. These guys crashed a national coronation ceremony and they could not be happier to do it.

El Fasntasma:

So what did I say? Magic can win in 6, for this they needed to steal a game in Cleveland. Most people say it was impossible, I'm looking at you Kenny Smith!!, but the Magic once again proved they had what it takes to win on the road and against a top NBA team. Orlando was able to beat Lebron and all the fake foul calls he gets, Anderson Varejao's constant flopping, and David Stern, but they did it. They stole homecourt away from the Lebroniers and are looking good after starting slow in game 1. Maybe just maybe someone will finally notice and see that Orlando is a true contender. Can you all believe that the only one right now giving Orlando the series is Charles Barkley? Now we know who is the real expert out there, I'm looking at you Sir Charles!!

The Nickel Steak:

The moment of the night was Varejao going down clutching his throat, and the replay showing he clearly was never hit anywhere near his throat. Listening to the announcers try desperately to NOT say he was faking it was hilarious. That image, Varejao with both hands on his throat like he just tried to inhale an entire Salmon plate says everything about this game that needs to be said.

Paul Ego:

As fan of the NBA, you had to love a comeback/nail biting finish over a blow out one way or the other. As a fan of Orlando Magic basketball, you had to love the comeback and ultimate win on the road against (seemingly) everyone's favorite team, the Cavs. A special shout out to SVG for being the calming voice of reason (how's that off season treating you Shaq?) in the timeouts and inspiring the Magic to play a second half of Magic basketball the way the way only the boys in blue know how to do. I don't know if it's a small run, or a sign of things to come, but it sure feels like this team has turned the corner when it comes to maturity.

 
ECF Game 1 Recap
Written by The Whole Puns Team   
Wednesday, 20 May 2009 23:15

clock

"They don't know about this. We do"

This was the most telling quote of the evening by game MVP Stan Van Gundy. I think along with our team we are starting to see Stan grow as a coach and in a weird way the whole "master of panic" thing might be one of the best things that could have happened to him. There was no yelling or looks of disgust. There was simple and calm motivation. Stan kept the guys in the game and Dwight even praised his motivational tactics during halftime as Stan told the team they were all witnesses.

This team ran into a buzzsaw in the first quarter as the Cavs came out firing on all cylinders. They were rotating well to the shooters and playing great defense and Lebron was instantly putting his imprint (thanks Doug Collins) on this game by not only scoring but getting his teammates involved including a key block on a Dwight dunk followed by a transition 3 to give the Cavs a 33-19 lead. The Magic battled in the 2nd and and scored 29 points unfortunately the Cavs were still shooting the lights out including Mo Williams ridiculous shot at the half as the Cavs took a 15 point lead. Basically the Cavs played an absolute perfect half of basketball.

The 2nd half changed everything as the shots for the Magic started to fall and the Cavs decided to become the witnesses in the 3rd as they let Lebron basically play by himself by running what seemed like endless isolation plays for him that led to a nice display of jumpers which plays into the Magic's hands even if he hits them at a high rate. This allowed the Magic to chip away at the lead and close to within 4 points.

The fourth quarter was highly entertaining and is everything you want when you are watching 2 championship contenders playing at a high level. Every time one team scored or looked like they were going to pull away the other team had a response until the final dagger was delivered by a Rashard Lewis 3 to give the Magic the 107-106 lead with 14 seconds left. The Cavs ran a great play off of a jumpball with one second left unfortunately Mo Williams could not channel his inner Baby Davis and the Magic squeaked it out.

Now this game is what it is. It gave the Magic a 1-0 lead. We have all seen plenty of teams take the 1-0 lead only to lose their series in 5 or 6 games. The key will be for the Magic to believe they can take Game 2 as it seemed in Boston like they were just satisfied to get home court and were blown out of the water. The last 3 victories this team has taken tremendous strides and it appears they have the mental toughness and will you want to see from a championship contender but again they need 3 more victories.

Here we go for Game 2 where we are sure the task only gets tougher.

 
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kid
Image of the day: Via Orlando Sentinel

The Mission. The Statement.

We are Terry and The Pump Fakes, Jareth Cutestory, Vile Feminista, Maxwell Effort, I 3 Freely, Paul Ego, Supply and Demand, El Fantasma de Carlos, The Big Train, The Nickel Steak, Ayo!, and Tyson J. Perfect. Together, we are Magic fans. We remember Nick’s steal against Jordan, Billy Donovan, Scott Skiles, Jerryl Sasser and Reece Gaines, The Mac Attacks, the NBA on NBC, and Grant Hill’s ankle. We also watch TV and read the internet, thus noticing the endless flow of unoriginal Orlando Magic related puns. We have combined to discuss the Magic, the NBA, and from time to time supply side economics and the life of Leonardo da Vinci. Together we are The Puns Are Starting to Bore Me.

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