Music Monday, On Tuesday

So, since we were still in shock over Sunday’s loss, we didn’t get around to Music Monday. However, since we make the rules, we’re gonna do it on Tuesday. Here is OK Go’s “Get over it.”

Lot of knots, lot of snags,
lot of holes, lot of cracks lot of crags. Lot of naggin’ old hags,
lot of fools, lot of fool scum bags.
Oh it’s such a drag, what a chore… oh your wounds are full of salt.
Everything’s a stress and what’s more, well it’s all somebody’s fault.

(Hey!) Get, get, get, get, get over it! [x3]
Get over it, get over it.

Makes you sick, makes you ill,
makes you cheat, slipping change from the till.
Had it up to the gills… makes you cry while
the milk still spills. Ain’t it just a bitch? What a pain…
Well it’s all a crying shame. What
left to do but complain? Better find someone to blame.

(Hey!) Get, get, get, get, get over it! [x3]
Get over it, get over it.

Got a job, got a life, got a four-door and a faithless wife.
Got those nice copper pipes, got an ex, got a room for the night.
Aren’t you such a catch?
What a prize! Got a body like a battle
axe… Love that perfect frown, honest eyes…
We ought to buy you a Cadillac.

(Hey!) Get, get, get, get, get over it! [x3]
Get over it, get over it.

Thanks to azlyrics for the… Lyrics.…

Continue Reading

Frustration Part 2

Last week I told the annoying and unacceptable story of Bright House Networks and their inability to properly install cable. To refresh:

Let’s recap. That is over 17 days and counting without properly working cable. I miss DirectTV. And this would be somewhat workable if most of Orlando’s first round games against Philly were not on FSN and NBATV, both of which are part of BHN’s digital package. And as for last night’s TNT broadcast, I guess watching it on a 19 inch TV is better than nothing, but I’d rather watch it in HD on a 42 inch, with DVR capabilities.

When I last wrote on the subject, the cable guy was due to fix the error that evening. He did, and the cable works just fine now, but that isn’t what makes this worth writing about. Let’s go through the conversation, and the cable guy will be green and I’ll be blue.

“Hi, I’m going to fix the cable.”
“Awesome, come on in.”
(I tell him the story)
“So what you are saying is the previous guys f***ed it up?”
“Yep!”
“Let me tell you what, I see you have a Magic sign out front of your house (we have a Go Magic campaign-esque sign in the front yard). I’m from Boston, but I’ll still fix your s***.”
“Haha. Alright, that’s cool.”
“We’re gonna win the series though.”
“Sure, sure.”
(He fixes the cable)
“I used to live in the same building with all the Celtic players. We used to hang out.”
“Ohh yeah?”
“Hell yeah. Pierce, Rondo, we used to get drinks and s***!”
“Well that’s pretty cool.”
“Yeah, do you know P.J. Brown?”
“Yeah, I know who he is.”
“F***ing a**hole!”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I wanted to shove a pool stick up his a**. He was checkin’ my girl out… Lookin’ at her a**. I don’t put up with that s***. I told him I was in the South African special forces. Man, I’d take him out with one finger.”
“Wow.”
“Alright guys, have a good night.”

In other words, the cable got fixed, AND it was entertaining.…

Continue Reading

That One Hurt…

Boston Celtics v Orlando Magic, Game 4

There are losses, and then there are games where it doesn’t feel like a loss. It feels like someone promised you a steak dinner after a hards day work, and then you come home and see a Swanson in the microwave with your name on it. The Magic, who have always been good at this, teased the fans into thinking that they would take care of business on their homecourt and would end this series in Boston on Tuesday. Not the case. Now the Celtics have regained control of home court advantage, and the Magic will have to look into their bag of tricks (see what I did there?) to see if they can pull off a road win.

J.J. Redick was ice cold. Courtney Lee couldn’t find his shot until late in the 4th. Rafer played a miserable game. And Hedo Turkoglu. Well, Hedo was typical Hedo. Hedo is the type of player that is good for network broadcasts. He is the guy who hit a few big 4th quarter shots, that even I admitedly went six to midnight for. But for the die hard fan, you know exactly what Hedo is going to give you. You could argue he is even more inconsistent then oft injured, 20 points tonight and 6 the next Mickael Pietrus. You see, Hedo doesn’t just drop his scoring average down. He tends to forget how to play the game of basketball completely, especially the concept of team basketball. Bad passes, blown defensive assignments, and drop back 3pt attempts were all Hedo was about tonight. It’s fun to see him bank one with 2 seconds left in a close game during the regular season, but the gamble isn’t worth the heartbreak in the playoffs.

Why the Magic did not go to the 2nd best player on this team is beyond me. Rashard Lewis was brought to this team and paid the money he is being paid for a reason. To be the meatballs to our spaghetti, Dwight Howard. Rashard was 8-14 from the field, and 2-5 from 3pt land. Hedo on the other hand was 4-14 from the field, and 1-4 from 3pt land. Does that not tell you how blatantly obvious it is that Hedo should not be taking the last shot? Or why did the ball not go to Dwight down low? He has proven he could hit FT’s under pressure in situations like this. Heck, maybe Big Baby fouls him, and that last shot never even happens.

Which brings me to that last shot. The shot that will cause me to curse this game if the Magic end up losing the series. SVG said that is how he drew it up, but I can’t help but wonder why? Big Baby had come down and hit a jumper the posession before that, and has proven time and time again he can hit the jumper when he is left wide open. With Rashard length, he could have not even allowed the ball to go to Davis, or atleast altered the shot rather then leaving him wide open. Or let Pierce go one on one with Pietrus, and funnel him into Dwight. I’d take a contested Dwight shot over leaving a guy that went 9-14 on the night wide open anyday of the week, and twice on Sunday.

The Magic now head into Boston to get the series back in their favor. I wonder if it is time for J.J. to sit back down and let Courtney Lee start again. Lee was key to the Magic’s success against the 76ers with his early offense and defensive hustle. When J.J. starts off cold, chances are he will continue to be cold throughout the game. It’s not impossible for the Magic to take the lead in this series again. I still predict them to win it in 6. However, going to bed after writing this, I have to wonder if the Magic will ever take the intensity they play with when being underdogs, or missing a key player, and bring it in a game where they are at full strength. This playing down to the opponents level has got to stop, or it will cost them a chance at going to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time since 95-96.…

Continue Reading

The Legend Of The Warlock

20zwr50

There was a day when the Orlando Magic faithful received word that our wayward draft pick from Europe (no, not that one) had finally come to terms with the Magic and would be joining us for the upcoming season. That day was August 9th, 2007 and it was on that day that our story, and thus, the legendary legend, begins.

The legendary legend didn’t start out so legendary. In fact, it wasn’t even a legend, or even a story. Instead it was a search on the interwebs for information on Marcin Gortat of Poland. The “word*” was Gortat had signed a contract that would permit him to participate in the Orlando Magic’s Summer League and remain with the team if he made the training camp roster. However, information containing even an ounce of veracity was unavailable, despite protests to the contrary from the Orlando Sentinel.

An enterprising little trooper from the official Orlando Magic.com message boards with the screen name “Jareth Cutestory” decided to see what he could find out from the Polish online sources, down South America way (just go with it). So, he searched and found a link to a Polish news source which had posted an article announcing the official signing of Marcin Gortat. Since no message board members available at that given moment could read something written in Polish, Mr. Cutestory did the next best thing, he ran the article through the Tranexp 2000 online translator from the wonderful folks at Translation Experts.com. Apparently these folks are not fans of Spider-Man and therefore fail to realize that with great power comes great responsibility. You see, the cog in their Polish-To-English translator was missing a few spokes, and as it turned out, this was a good thing!

It could be argued that the resulting translation resembled English. But the person making this argument would be someone who learned English from a guy who learned English from Borat. First and foremost, the moniker “Magic” was translated as “Warlock.” The term “warlock” is used to describe a male practitioner of witchcraft, magic, or the dark arts. So, the translation sort of makes sense in a Dr. Suess kind of way. In hindsight, a term with such inherent menace definitely applies to the appearance and play of Marcin Gortat, making it easy for the imagination to play on the romantic connotations of the association. To be sure, MS Paint and Photoshop got quite the workout that day, as any available photo of Gortat was embellished with warlock-related imagery.

Things were kicked up a notch when Magic Message Board member “Marc Acres 3:16” made his now-immortal observation about this line in the translation:

“Martin Gortat to stem with trainees bears.”

Marc Acres 3:16 then proceeded to release the hounds of interweb hell by proclaiming:

“He’s training with freakin BEARS!!!”

35n1mv7

So began the arms race that even Reagan and Gorbachev would have been proud of. There was a shot of Gortat riding the “furry tractor” from “Anchorman.” There was the shot of Gortat joining his grizzly training partner, along with Pat Garrity, Otis Smith, and apparently, a cat, in the hair metal band “Warlock.” There was the shot of Gortat “Grizzly” Adams, with his best furry buddy. Then, there was my personal favorite, the shot of a young Gortat in the stands watching a bear playing basketball, realizing what he needed to do to be successful (train with freakin bears, of course!).

An interesting sidebar to this day full of frolic and platonic web hugs was that the members of the Grizzly Adams Fan Club, both of them, couldn’t for the life of them identify the root cause of the sudden spike in Internet traffic related to their beloved and follically prolific hero.

And so it was that for the first time in the history of the NBA, a third-string center with no college or NBA experience, arrived to this country from a foreign land having already achieved cult figure status with his new team’s fan base. In his first two seasons with the Magic, every dunk or block by Gortat was treated with reverence and vigor seldom seen outside a JJ Redick 3-pointer. During the games in which he has subbed for Dwight Howard, the fans have been rewarded with performances that are proof of Gortat’s potential. This is a player that doesn’t just have a unique appearance and a badass nickname. The guy can play!

But the real story here, the legend in fact, is that the fans of the Orlando Magic created something special by latching on to this player like they have. It has led to shouts of “Warlock!” during the Magic games when he is in the game. Most of the casual, non-Interwebified fans in attendance wonder what its about, but those fans who make a visit to the official Orlando Magic Message boards part of their daily procrastination exercise hear it and love it and give a shout of their own. So, in this sense, the nickname, and the legend of the nickname, has become almost like a special password for entry into a secret club where only us cool people hang out (and Jareth Cutestory).

But the secret will not remain hidden for long. On the contrary, us “Puns” contributors have been very proactive in trying to get the “Warlock” name out there. In March, a large group of us attended the Magic vs. Knicks game wearing a “Warlock” t-shirt that we designed and printed ourselves. We were a large and loud enough group that plenty of other fans in attendance saw us and saw the shirts. In addition, Magic Message Board member “Live or Die Magic,” a friend of the Puns contributors, even interviewed Gortat and told him about the nickname and explained the origin to him. The nickname received validation, at least locally, when it was included in a list of Marcin Gortat nicknames during a Sun Sports broadcast of a Magic game.

Still, the nickname has yet to take off

Continue Reading

UK Reader? Check out these betting sites for basketball

Year after year the online betting market sees explosive growth with more customers signing up than the year before, it seems that the UK is completely obsessed with best online betting sites and there isn’t any stopping them. Thats why so many people are searching for the  in an attempt to find themselves a reliable website that will offer them great odds, a reliable website which is quick and pleasing to view, a selection of free bets and existing customer promotions (as there is nothing worse than signing up to a new site to never receive anything fun to bet with).

The search for the best betting sites can be hard as there are now so many to choose from more bookmakers are popping up all the time as they are no longer required to have such a huge investment that you’d typically get when opening a land based store. Heck you dont even need to be based in the United Kingdom any more you can get licensed by a variety of different countries. Thats why its important to find a reliable review site as nowadays a lot of people dont write honest reviews anymore they just try and push customers to the ones that pay the largest amount of money. Fortunately the one we listed above is reliable and trustworthy and provide in-depth analysis of what you will be finding at the site of your choice.

Once you’ve made a selection dont just stop there either, try signing up to a handful of different sites around 5 is a good number then find out which you prefer gambling with and rank them in order. This will allow you to take a variety of different promotions and also allows you to compare the best odds around meaning you’ll be able to win more money than you would if you just stuck with one of the betting sites.…

Continue Reading

Hmmmmm…

As we all know, Dwight was suspended for Game 6 of the Philly series for an elbow that got away from him. There wasn’t really too much for Dwight and Magic fans to complain about, especially if you take a look at the rule book:

K. A technical foul, unsportsmanlike act or flagrant foul must be called for a participant to be ejected. A player, coach or trainer may be ejected for:
(1) An elbow foul which makes contact shoulder level or below
(2) Any unsportsmanlike conduct where a technical foul is assessed
(3) A flagrant foul where unnecessary and/or excessive contact occurs
EXCEPTION: Rule 12A–Section V–l(5)
L.A player, coach or trainer must be ejected for:
(1) A punching foul
(2) A fighting foul
(3) An elbow foul which makes contact above shoulder level

Let’s take one more look at Dwight’s elbow:

 

Again, going by the rules, there isn’t too much to argue about. HOWEVER, let’s fast forward to Game 2 between the Lakers and Rockets. Yes, you know where I am going with this. Kobe Bryant.

 

If the NBA were to go with the exact letter of the law as they did in Dwight’s case, Kobe should have been suspended for Game 3. Again, “A player… MUST BE EJECTED FOR… AN ELBOW FOUL THAT MAKES CONTACT ABOVE SHOULDER LEVEL.” I could care less about the LA/Houston series, or Kobe Bryant, but him not being suspended for a game casts more doubt on a league already full of officiating issues.…

Continue Reading

Its Better Than You Think

As fans of basketball, or really as people, we’re often prone to understanding things in whatever manner is the simplest. While comparing raw statistics between eras in any sport, basketball or otherwise, is very difficult for a variety of reasons, it continues due to the ease of comparison. The logic holds that if Player A scored more points per game than Player B, then it could be inferred that Player A was a better scorer when in more accurate terms, an actual comparison could involve dozens of other factors.

Efforts have been made in the last few years to combat this thinking in the form of the creation of new stats. One such group of stats were the rebounding percentage stats. The internal logic was that teams playing at different paces would have different numbers of shot attempts a game, which would in turn mean different numbers of potential rebounds. Therefore, 2 players could both grab 10 rebounds, and one would be more impressive than the other for having done so. And given that pace adjustments can be made between eras, provided you know the pace index of the respective players’ teams, this was convenient.

It was with all that fresh in my mind that I went and looked up Dwight Howard’s total rebounding percentage for the playoffs this year. I knew it was high. I was right.

Through Tuesday, Dwight has posted a TR% in the playoffs of 26.16%, meaning at anytime in the playoffs when Dwight’s been in the game and a rebound has been grabbed, there was a 26.16% chance he was the one grabbing it. Wow.

In a moment of curiousity, I checked to see what the record was for a playoff series. I discovered something: the previous record is Dennis Rodman in 1995.

So Magic fans, tell your friends that Dwight might be rebounding better than anyone has before now so far in the playoffs. It is a statistical fact.…

Continue Reading

Frustration

As all Magic fans who live in Central Florida know, over the last few years there has been some issues between Bright House Networks, Fox Sports Florida, and the Orlando Magic. It all started with the Magic decided to no longer handle their own telecast of a chunk of basketball games and sell the right to those games to Fox Sports Florida. The only problem was that FSN was not carried by Bright House Networks, Central Florida’s major cable provider. Stupid move by the Magic. The new season came around and there was no agreement between FSN and BHN and basically half of last seasons Magic games were not available to a good chunk of CFL. Well, early this year the two sides reached an agreement and FSN was now available to BHN customers, pending they had digital cable, not standard cable.

So, given that background, here is what I have had to deal with the last few weeks. I had always been a cable subscriber but wasn’t about to sit around and miss a lot of Magic games, so when FSN and BHN couldn’t reach an agreement before the 07-08 season our house decided to switch to DirectTV. It was amazing. Top quality HD, boatload of channels, plus Magic basketball. There was much rejoicing.

Fast forward a year and a half and we decide to move. The only problem is our new place of residence has more trees than the Amazon and satellite is just not going to work. So, we get out of our DirectTV contract and reluctantly switch back to BHN. The only good thing is BHN has the Bright House Sports Network which has a lot of UCF programing, which is nice.

Anyway, here is what has happened so far:

  • An appointment is made for the day after we move to have the cable installed. The cable guy comes and hooks it up. Hoary. However, he informs me that to get the cable in another room it will cost an extra $50 dollars. Even though I was not told that on the phone, I can deal with it. He proceeds to finish his current task and when I am able to catch up with him to tell him to go ahead and charge me the $50 and put cable in another room he has decided he is done with the job. He says, standing outside our home, that “I’ve been here for an hour and a half. You are going to have to call and make another appointment to get that installed.” Awesome. I guess his need to get his drink on is more important than doing his job.
  • I call and complain and BHN apologies and ensures me a “supervisor” will be out to complete the job… A week later. He comes out and installs cable in the requested room and leaves. We think the problem is fixed. False. While the “supervisor” managed to install cable in the other room, somehow he manages to break off the connection to the main television… The one with the HD DVR… And FSN. Unfortunately we don’t figure this out until after the “supervisor” leaves.
  • A 30 minute phone call later, another appointment is made for 5 days later to fix what this latest guy broke. That day comes and 3 guys come out… All of who don’t know how to fix the problem. They say they will have to send someone else out… Freaking 3 days later.
  • 3 days later we spend a Saturday afternoon, and I should mention the weather was spectacular, waiting around the house for the cable guy to fix the damn cable. Funny thing is no one shows up. Yeah, that’s right. Beyond frustrated I call and they tell me that “the customer had canceled the service call. Again, false.
  • That brings us to this evening between 6 and 8 when the problem is suppose to be fixed. Rightfully so, I don’t buy it.

Let’s recap. That is over 17 days and counting without properly working cable. I miss DirectTV. And this would be somewhat workable if most of Orlando’s first round games against Philly were not on FSN and NBATV, both of which are part of BHN’s digital package. And as for last night’s TNT broadcast, I guess watching it on a 19 inch TV is better than nothing, but I’d rather watch it in HD on a 42 inch, with DVR capabilities.

People might say, “Well why don’t you go watch it at a friends house or at a bar.” A friends house, perhaps, but a bar won’t cut it because I must be able to pay attention and not have distractions. Chances are, if you are reading this niche Orlando Magic blog, you are the same way.

BHN can only get between me and the Magic for so long……

Continue Reading

Hi, I’m a Hedo…and I’m a Turkoglu….

So last night the Magic lost to a team they really shouldn’t have lost to, the 76ers. While it was a team loss, I can’t help but wonder if the game would have had a entirely different outcome had one of their key players and impending free agent’s had a great game. Actually scratch that…if he had a good game period. Wait wait wait, how about just an average game?

The Magic are made up of 3 key frontcourt players. Rashard Lewis, Dwight Howard, and Hedo Turkoglu. Those 3 are what make the team so dominant, and put them into the elite status in the East, along with the coaching of Stan Van Gundy. But what happens when you take 1 of those players out of the equation? Well, you get last nights result. Dwight Howard gets double teamed more (or totally ignored, but I’ll get to that later), Rashard Lewis is left as the only other key scorer, and a rookie and bad shooters are left to try to pick up the slack.

So, why did I pick Hedo as an example? Well, because he is the most inconsistent of the bunch. Sure, Dwight might only get 12 points in a game, but you know for sure he is going to hit double digit boards. Shard may miss his first 8 shots, but he tends to get hot late and still chip in 14 or 15 points. But when Hedo is in a funk, he is staying in a funk. And it happens too often, and it shouldn’t for a guy wanting big money this summer.

Don’t get me wrong, when Hedo is on, he’s on. But when he’s off, close your eyes, because this trainwreck is frightening. It’s almost as if, there is Turkoglu, and then there is Hedo. They’re 2 seperate players. Hedo makes shots, distributes the ball the best he could, grabs a few boards, and atleast stays with his man 70% of the time. But when Turkoglu emerges, bad shots are thrown up, passes are chucked around to nobody, defense is not a priority, teammates are afterthoughts, and an entirely different attitude comes out.

In Game 1 against the 76ers, Hedo shot a miserable 25% from the field. He finished with 6 points, with 2 of those coming from FT’s. He couldn’t get anything going. Then, Turkoglu came out to play. Here are some highlights of his night:

 

-Wild pass to Rafer Alston across the court, out of bounds, turnover.

-Dwight Howard danced and threw his hands up in the air atleast 3 or 4 times, wide open in the paint. Missed opportunities to score. Who had the ball in his hands? Turkoglu. What did he do? Pretended to be a running back and rammed into his defender. Why? I have no clue.

-Got scorched by Andre Iguodola. I know AI2 shot 10-23 from the floor, but I swear I don’t remember him missing a shot besides when he got swatted by Dwight. It seemed like Turkoglu just let him shoot jumpers in his face all night? He barely threw a hand up, and when he did, it seemed like he could careless. Turkoglu isn’t know for his defense, but this was pathetic.

-Blown defensive assignment by Turkoglu? Not his fault, according to, well him. Instead, he blames his teammates. “Where were you” he mouthed to Dwight Howard numerous times. “I’m only 1 man”, I can assume Dwight replied to him with.

Those are just some of the hig…lowlights of his night. These are the inconsistencies Magic fans have been dealing with for years now. You really never know which player is going to show up, and how it will affect your team. Hedo is talked about as an important piece to this team, but the playoffs are going to be a good indication on just how vital he is to this team going forward. The Magic cannot afford to resign a player who cannot show up every night, and basically gives up when things aren’t going his way. Not for a guy his age, the position he plays, and the money he wants.

Hedo is a funny guy, a great teammate, and a great player. I like him. This isn’t a hate piece. But like any relationship, sometimes people grow apart. And if Hedo continues this trend, I think it might be best the Magic and Hedo go their seperate ways.…

Continue Reading

There was a game last night?

So, the Magic blew an 18 point lead last night. TBASTBM will certainly cover last night’s debacle, but until then, let’s change the subject.

To start, let’s stick with basketball, where UCF product Jermaine Taylor continues to see his draft stock rise. While flying under the radar for the entire year, despite being the nations 3rd leading scorer, Taylor is beginning to catch the eyes of the NBA with several stellar performances since the end of the UCF season. Just as impressive, Jermaine (#1, pictured below) has returned to UCF to finish out the semester and graduate. Said Taylor,

I never thought about leaving because getting my degree was really important to me and my family. If I came here for four years and if I didn’t get my degree, I think my time here would kind of be a waste.

 

For more check out Illiana Limon’s article in today’s Sentinel.

Next, the New York Times has an interesting opinion piece claiming a proposed Florida state law designed to keep anyone from getting closer than 100 feet of a voting line “would make it harder for eligible voters, especially those from minorities and those who are poor, to register and vote.” The piece notes that this would all but eliminate many protection programs and non partisan groups who make themselves available on Election Day to help voters understand the process and their rights.

In Jamacia, police captured a man who stormed onto a plane after it had landed and took all 174 passengers and crew hostage. No one was hurt.

The Texas Rangers beat the Kansas City Royals 6 to 5.…

Continue Reading